Still, you go on telling  me, Mark and anybody else  everything. The new shit is places? Cancel the ‘new’ in it and pronounce shit in a nauseated way. I assume your friends go crazy to know in real time about your check ins at restaurants, petting zoos and Mariah Carey concerts. You will discribe the situation: “It is soo amazing.”

What ever you’re talking about — dead meat, living meat or meat loafs daughter … Added Value?!

No. This is not awesome. Not at Places.

(the picture is found on igossip.com)

Don’t waste time and prepare yourself, your house, your dog and your garden gnome: Look Awesome When The Car Comes. Their pictures will last for years in the virtual reality. This is what I call efficient and effective. And I’m not only thinking and talking about green little bastards from Mars.

A guy called Rainer wen(d)t philosophical. (You should know, he represents all employed German police men.)

He literally said:

1. ‘It’s not for sure, that we (the police) will use the results from the camera cars as virtual patrols, but it would be just fair since …
2. ‘… criminals could observe buildings and the alarm equipment for a while, before they start robbering the house.’

Yeah, the same rights for police and thieves!

Just a sec! We are talking about photographs, aren’t we? Images created by light falling on a light-sensitive surface (Thx WIKI). The word is CREATED. Past tense, Mr Officer! Before you use photographs to prevent crime, go and invent the time machine. And if a criminal is dumb enough to think these photographs are real time as well, you should get him without any high-class James Bond gadgets.

(the picture is found on futurenews.at)

The car is coming to good ol’ Germany and as you know, the Germans are not only funny characters, they are very modern, open-minded and — thanks to pink T — a pure internet nation as well. They neither discuss privacy issues nor data safety on the web. Of course they will never publish forms to prevent their houses from being shown. Pixel the houses — why? They have no secrets.

Privacy is just a funny game everyone could join. The best example is a current chivvy initiated by a teutonic tv station. A guy called Sven (of course he’s called Sven, he’s German!) is trying to hide himself from the nation to proof or disproof the power of digital footprints within three weeks. At least it is pretending. The truth: it’s all about a reward of 10.000 € to discover Sven.

Stand up against this inhumanity by branding yourself and branding your houses with streetwear optimization. Make the world a better place — without silly tv formats with vain prigs.

Have you ever heard the story of the shirt … Come on! Get the loco motives.

God damn, what are you waiting for? They’re for free you little nerd. Time is ticking. Okay, I tell you a story. Once there was a web page and it did not offer anything for sale nor anything we call expertise. There was only an idea.

This small tiny idea went around the world and got some supporters and later the inhabitants of our planet were seperated into two groups. One group took part and shared the idea, the other group was a bunch of losers. You know, this kind of people standing alone on the school yard waiting for the next beat up …

I ask again: What are you waiting for? Download your streetwear now.

Do you remember SEO and SEM and SMO and SMM? Of course you do. You manage your digital reputation like a pro. If people are looking for you on the world wide web, they’ll find your linkedin profile, your facebook page and your twitter account. You do collect friends, fans, followers just like my auntie collects mushrooms in the wet wood after a rainy day. You do look pretty and wise on the internet. Congrats, but still:

THE INTERNET IS FOR PORN AND CATS.

So what you really need is SWO. It’s Streetwear Optimization. Bang! Don’t be a fool and get ready for the camera car. For sure it is coming to your street and it does not care about your so called fashion. In fact you are stinky and  boring as hell and everyone with access to the net will laugh out loud when the company will publish the pics. Man, you are embarrassing. But lucky you. Here is some help.

Check our stuff and download the design files for free. Create your shirts, your hoodie and your old school cap as well. What ever you like. But send a picture to this blog to proof your new awesomeness. Our designs will give you the offline power you already pretend in your online profiles. If the internet is for porn and cats then the real live is a XXX movie and you are one of the actors. No wait, you are a cheap model on a catwalk. But only with streetwear optimization (SWO) — at least that is something.

Always remember who saved you.